Gute Bulle, Schlecte Bulle

Good Cop, Bad Cop

On December 6 we celebrated Saint Nicholas Tag, a holiday distinct from Christmas, where St. Nicholas (sometimes called Nicolo or Niklaus) brings small gifts to all good children.  You might know that St. Nik comes in the night and fills children’s shoes with treats such as chocolates and oranges (that is what he brought for us – we didn’t ask the kids in our building what they got).  In Austria St. Nicholas dresses as a bishop with flowing red robes, a miter, and a crosier (like a shepherd’s crook).  He isn’t as insanely commercialized like the US Santa; nonetheless, Austrian Niklaus enjoys a fairly high approval rating.  We think his admiration would go through the roof if it were not for the company he keeps.

Can you see the shoe in the window?  This belongs to our neighbor across the courtyard and one floor up.  

Looks like he was good this year.

We were shocked to learn that a scary, hairy, nasty, devil-like dude known as Krampus hangs out with St. Nik.  What upset us most is it appears ol’ Nicolo and Krampus are in cahoots – they have a sort of good-cop bad-cop arrangement.  As is widely known, St. Nik rewards good behavior.  What is less widely know is that Krampus travels with St. Nicholas to threaten children who have not been obedient or who have not learned their lessons (doing well school is extraordinarily important in Austria).  Not only that, Krampus isn’t always solo; often gangs of many Krampuses or Krampi (we’re not sure of the proper plural) accompany the one and only St. Nicholas.  We are not making this up.  We wouldn’t have believed it had we not seen it with our own eyes.

One evening last week we were enjoying a pleasant stroll after a perfectly delightful dinner with our dear friend Katharina.  Then from out of nowhere, we heard a harsh clanging of bells and chains.  We turned toward the clamor, and to our dismay, saw a gang of Krampuses with St. Nicholas.  They were huge, mean, ugly, and on the move.  Their disruptive noise, formidable size, and thrashing about made it seem like there were twenty of them – we couldn’t even get a photo because they were literally a total blur.  Foolishly we followed them.  Then they stopped long enough in a little neighborhood square so we could marvel at how hideous Krampuses really are.  It turned out there were only eight or nine Krampuses with St. Nik, but they were all tall, mangy, repulsive, and besides that, they had horns, disfigured faces, and long creepy fingernails.  Some of them had baskets on their backs in which they could put bad children.  Others had switches or chains for whipping.  Thank goodness we were repeatedly assured that St. Nicholas is always there to protect us - he never actually lets the Krampuses physically hurt anyone; but has Nicolo ever heard of emotional distress?  Nightmares?  This was certainly most unsettling.

The basket is an awful touch.

Luckily St. Nik was there to protect us all - see the apparent sense of relief?

Seriously, these Krampuses were dreadful!

Not only were they dreadful, they were mammothly dreadful!

And they had fire too!

These cute little Krampuses are made of chocolate, prunes, and nuts.  Yummy.

These mischievous Krampuses are gracing a an office-party invitation.